Florida Gone Fetal Shirt

Description

Florida Gone Fetal Tee
Because sometimes the only logical response to this state… is the fetal position.

This unisex softstyle tee is your official uniform for emotional shutdowns, bad decisions, and Florida-grade overwhelm. Whether you’ve had one too many swamp margaritas or just saw a dude riding an alligator through a Taco Bell drive-thru, this shirt says it all—without saying much.

Why It’s Your Emotional Support Tee:

🌀 100% ring-spun cotton – Soft enough to curl up in when life (or Florida) gets too loud.
👕 Classic fit, crew neck – For when you want to look normal on the outside while screaming internally.
🪢 Ribbed knit collar & shoulder tape – Holds its shape better than your last relationship.
🌱 Grown in the USA – Just like Florida’s headlines: strange, wild, and somehow still legal.

Perfect For:

• Beach breakdowns

• Party withdrawals

• Crawling under a picnic table during hurricane season

• Saying “I can’t even” without using your words

Care Instructions:

• Machine wash cold—like your stare after someone says “Florida isn’t that weird.”

• Tumble dry low—like your expectations

• Do not bleach—this shirt has seen enough

• No dry cleaning—it’s not that kind of vibe

Throw it on, curl up, and wait for the storm (or the hangover) to pass.
Florida Gone Fetal: because sometimes horizontal is a lifestyle.