Dark Chemically Speaking… T-Shirt

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“Chemically Speaking, Alcohol IS a Solution” Tee
Science says yes. So does your liver (kinda).

Finally, a shirt that proves what your 10th grade chemistry teacher didn’t want to admit—alcohol is a solution. Whether you’re sipping spirits, spitting facts, or just spiraling with style, this unisex tee is your go-to for comfort, laughs, and light buzzed wisdom.

Why You’ll Love This Nerdy-Party Hybrid:
🧪 100% Ring-Spun Cotton – So soft, it feels like a hug from your favorite bartender.
🥂 Classic Fit & Crew Neck – Goes great with jeans, lab coats, or regrettable decisions.
🔬 Ribbed Knit Collar – Holds its shape longer than your New Year’s resolutions.
🌎 Ethically Sourced – Sustainably made, because you can be environmentally responsible while tipsy.
🧼 Low-Maintenance – Machine washable, because no one wants to hand-wash their party shirt.

Care Tips (for the shirt, not your life):

  • Wash cold—like your beer and your ex’s heart.
  • Tumble dry low—like your tolerance after bottomless brunch.
  • Skip the bleach—this shirt’s already loud enough.
  • Iron on low if you’re trying to impress someone who owns an iron.

Wear it to the bar, the brewery, or your next science fair.
It’s not just a shirt. It’s a chemical reaction waiting to happen.

Florida Gone Feral Shirt

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Florida Gone Feral Tee

Because sometimes the only rational response to this state is giving up on decorum entirely.

The Florida Gone Feral Tee is made for heat-soaked days, bad judgment calls, and the
kind of chaos that only Florida can normalize. Whether it’s swamp cocktails, sunburned decisions,
or witnessing something that absolutely should not be happening in public, this shirt makes your
mental state clear without needing to explain yourself.

This unisex softstyle tee is comfortable enough for all-day wear and durable enough to survive
whatever Florida throws at you next.

Why This Is Your Feral Uniform

  • 100% ring-spun cotton — Soft, broken-in comfort for long days and longer nights.
  • Classic fit with crew neck — Looks put together while everything else is unhinged.
  • Ribbed collar & shoulder taping — Holds its shape even when you don’t.
  • US-grown cotton — Raised domestically, but clearly not tame.

Perfect For

  • Beach days that go off the rails
  • Post-party recovery
  • Hurricane season energy
  • Letting people know you’ve chosen chaos

Care Instructions

  • Machine wash cold — like your reaction to Florida news headlines.
  • Tumble dry low — like your standards after midnight.
  • Do not bleach — this shirt has seen enough.
  • No dry cleaning — absolutely not.

Put it on. Lean into it. Act accordingly.
Florida Gone Feral — because this state doesn’t do subtle.

Size XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL
Width (in) 16.00 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00
Length (in) 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 35.00
Sleeve Length (in) 7.99 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49 9.72 9.96
Size Tolerance (in) 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

Gator ran over Grandpa

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Gator Over Grandpa Tee
Because Florida wildlife doesn’t yield—especially to seniors in golf carts.

Meet the shirt that tells the heroic, hilarious tale of one Florida Man’s ultimate battle: Grandpa vs. Gator. This unisex softstyle tee delivers peak comfort and peak absurdity in one smooth, gator-approved package. Whether you’re rocking it at a BBQ, gifting it to your favorite troublemaker, or just reminding the world that Florida is… different—this tee makes a bold statement without saying a word.

Features That Slap (Unlike Grandpa’s Reflexes):
🐊 No Side Seams – Smooth and seamless, like that gator’s stealthy approach.
⛳ Ribbed Collar – Holds its shape better than Grandpa held the steering wheel.
🦴 Shoulder Tape – Keeps things from stretching out—unlike Grandpa’s last excuse.
🎨 Print-Ready Fabric – Bold enough to capture every tooth, tire, and twisted tale.
🌱 Ethically Made – Because laughs are better when they don’t wreck the planet.

Care Instructions (For You, Not the Gator):

  • Wash cold – Like that gator’s dead-eyed stare
  • Tumble dry low – Because Grandpa already went through enough
  • Iron low – Press gently, unlike nature
  • No bleach, no dry clean – Let’s not overcomplicate things

Gator Over Grandpa:
One shirt. One survivor. Zero apologies.

 

Perfect for birthdays, retirements, or just saying, “Yeah, I saw that happen—and I bought the shirt.”

XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Width, in 16.00 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00
Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00
Sleeve length, in 7.99 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

 

Maple syrup

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Timber Creek Distillery’s Barrel-Aged Vermont Maple Syrup: Experience the unique melding of flavors with our carefully crafted syrup. We take pure Vermont maple syrup and age it for six months in freshly emptied Florida Rye Whiskey barrels, used previously for crafting our distinguished Florida Black Rye Whiskey. This process infuses the syrup with subtle, spicy notes of rye whiskey, enhancing its natural richness. The result is a gourmet delight that transcends traditional syrup, perfect for elevating pancakes, desserts, or even cocktails. Embrace a taste of Vermont, refined by the spirit of Florida.

Red, White, and Booze T-Shirt

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Red, White, and Booze Tee
Because nothing says “America” like fireworks, freedom, and fermented fun.

This shirt doesn’t just celebrate the land of the free—it salutes it with a beer in one hand and a burger in the other. Whether you’re crushing cans on the lake, lighting questionably legal fireworks, or double-fisting at the family BBQ, this tee is your go-to uniform for stars, stripes, and slight intoxication.

Perfect For:

  • Fourth of July shenanigans
  • Memorial Day meat sweats
  • Waving sparklers while yelling “WOOO!”
  • Anyone who thinks “Born in the USA” is a lifestyle

Product Features:

  • 100% ring-spun cotton—so soft it feels like a hug from a bald eagle
  • Classic fit with a crew neck, perfect for showing off tan lines
  • Ethically sourced U.S. cotton—grown with freedom
  • Ribbed knit collar to stay in shape, even if you don’t
  • Built for beer runs, BBQs, and backyard glory

Care Instructions:

  • Machine wash cold—just like your cooler
  • Tumble dry low—unlike your inhibitions
  • Don’t bleach unless you want that “Florida flag” look
  • Low iron if you’re feelin’ fancy, but wrinkles are just patriotic texture

 

– Made with 100% ring-spun cotton for lightweight comfort
– Classic fit with crew neckline for versatile style
– Ethically grown and harvested US cotton for sustainability
– Ribbed knit collar for elasticity and shape retention
– Suitable for patriotic holidays and casual gatherings

Care instructions
– Do not dryclean
– Do not bleach
– Tumble dry: low heat
– Iron, steam or dry: low heat
– Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

Rustic Florida Whiskey T-Shirt

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The “I Own Exactly One Good Shirt” Tee

Perfect for whiskey drinkers, gator dodgers, and people who believe flip-flops count as formal wear.  This unisex softstyle tee is like that one friend who’s always chill, always comfy, and somehow always ends up in the background of your wildest photos. Made from 100% ring-spun cotton and zero bad vibes, it’s lightweight, breathable, and ready for whatever poor decisions the day throws at you.

Why You’ll Wear It Until It’s See-Through:
👕 No side seams – Smooth, sleek, and less itchy than your last Tinder date.
🪢 Ribbed collar + shoulder tape – So it holds up through laundry days and Florida summers.
🎯 Perfect canvas – For printing chaos, branding brilliance, or just your name so people stop stealing your shirt.
🌱 Ethically made – Like… in theory. Look, the cotton is certified, okay?

Great For:

  • Beach beers, bonfires, and brunch you’ll regret
  • Casual hangouts or pretending to help at the distillery
  • Gifting to people who deserve comfort (or owe you money)
  • Looking like you might know how to fix a boat

Care Instructions:

  • Machine wash cold, like your whiskey
  • Tumble dry low, like your standards
  • Do not bleach (unless you’re going for “Florida Man Crime Scene” vibes)
  • Iron on low or just embrace the wrinkles—wrinkles have character
  • Dry cleaning? Not in this economy.

It’s more than a t-shirt—it’s a lifestyle.

Comfy. Classic. Mildly chaotic. Want it with a Florida Man riding a gator printed on it? I can make that happen.d crew neckline make it versatile enough to dress up or down, suitable for any occasion from casual outings to laid-back social gatherings. This tee radiates a relaxed vibe, making it an ideal choice for those who appreciate both leisure and style. Perfect for anyone who loves comfort and practicality, it makes a thoughtful gift for birthdays, holidays, or simply to treat yourself!

Product features
– Without side seams for a smooth aesthetic and reduced waste
– Ribbed knit collar retains shape and offers flexibility
– Shoulder tape for enhanced stability and durability
– Made from durable, soft fabric ideal for printing
– Ethically produced with US cotton and certified for safety

Care instructions
– Do not dryclean
– Do not bleach
– Tumble dry: low heat
– Iron, steam or dry: low heat
– Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors

S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00
Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00
Sleeve length, in 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

 

Spooky Timber Creek T shirt

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Unisex Heavy Cotton Halloween Tee
Witch, please. This shirt is scary comfortable.

Spook up your style with the ultimate Halloween essential: a heavyweight cotton tee that’s frightfully soft, eerily durable, and ready for whatever tricks—or treats—you throw at it. Whether you’re handing out candy, haunting a house party, or just out here raising spirits, this tee brings the chills in all the right ways.

Why This Tee is the Pumpkin Spice of Shirts:
🎃 100% Cotton (5.3 oz/yd²) – Thick enough for a chilly October night, soft enough to nap in after a candy coma.
🧛‍♂️ Classic Fit, Crew Neckline – Works with costumes, cardigans, or capes. (You do you.)
👻 Tear-Away Label – Because itchy necks are scarier than ghosts.
🧙 Spellbinding Print Surface – Specially spun fibers create a smooth canvas for crisp, vibrant designs.
🌎 Ethically Made – 100% US-grown cotton, no tricks—just sustainable treats.

Perfect For:

  • Halloween parties, pumpkin patches, and costume contests you’re too cool to enter
  • Creating your own designs like “Creepin’ It Real” or “Resting Witch Face”
  • Gifts for spooky-season lovers who want to stay festive without a full-blown costume

Care Instructions (Because Blood Stains Are a Pain):

  • Machine wash cold—like a vampire’s heart
  • Tumble dry low—so your shirt doesn’t vanish into the underworld
  • No bleach—it scares away the color
  • Iron on low… unless it’s haunted

The Halloween Tee That Doesn’t Ghost You After One Wash.
So comfy, it’s scary.

 

S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL
Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00
Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 35.00
Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 23.70 25.00
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

 

Timber Creek Distillery T-Shirt

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Timber Creek Chaos Tree Tee
Rooted in mayhem. Grown with whiskey.

This Timber Creek Chaos Tree Tee is the official uniform of unpredictable afternoons, smoke-filled sunsets, and highly questionable storytelling. Whether you’re chopping wood, tossing axes, or just sipping bourbon while chaos unfolds around you—this tee’s got the durability of a pine tree in a lightning storm and the comfort of not remembering what day it is.

Why You Need This Shirt to Survive the Madness:
🌳 No side seams – Smooth and clean, unlike the decisions that got you here.
🪵 Ribbed collar + shoulder tape – So it holds up through spontaneous bonfires and half-serious wrestling matches.
🍂 100% ring-spun cotton – Soft enough to nap in, strong enough to outrun a wild hog (probably).
🌱 Ethically grown US cotton – Because even chaos deserves a conscience.

Perfect For:

  • Day drinking under suspicious trees
  • Hiding from your responsibilities in style
  • Telling stories that start with “So there I was…”
  • Casual wear, axe league night, or meeting your future ex at the tasting bar

Care Instructions:

  • Machine wash cold—like your stare when someone says “I only drink vodka”
  • Tumble dry low—because shrinkage ruins lives
  • No bleach—this isn’t a frat house
  • Iron low if you absolutely must—but wrinkles are part of the brand
  • Don’t dry clean unless you’re running from something

Timber Creek Chaos Tree Tee:
For those who thrive on whiskey, weather, and wild stories. Bonus points if you’ve ever shouted “hold my drink” before doing something deeply regrettable.

 

Timber Creek Distillery Tree T-Shirt

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Timber Creek Tree Tee
Grown with care. Worn with whiskey.

This unisex softstyle tee celebrates the other side of Timber Creek—the peaceful pines, golden sunsets, and the quiet wisdom of a tree that’s seen a few things (and maybe overheard a few bourbon-fueled secrets). It’s soft, flattering, and dependable—just like that one friend who always remembers to bring snacks and bug spray.

Why You’ll Keep Reaching for It:
🌲 100% ring-spun cotton – So soft it feels like a nap in the shade.
🌼 Classic fit & crew neck – Easy to dress up, down, or straight into nature.
🧵 Ribbed collar + shoulder tape – Holds its shape longer than your last camping trip.
🌿 No side seams – Smooth, clean, and great for printing that beautiful Timber Creek tree.
🌱 Ethically made with US cotton – Because even a nice tree deserves to be rooted in good choices.

Perfect For:

  • Strolling through the vineyard or sipping spirits under the stars
  • Tree-hugging, wine-drinking, and porch-sitting
  • Gifting to people who enjoy both nature and not wearing stiff clothes
  • Pairing with jeans, boots, or bare feet in the grass

Care Instructions:

  • Machine wash cold—like the morning after a cool Florida night
  • Tumble dry low—keep it cozy
  • No bleach—this is a peaceful tree, not a punk band
  • Low iron if you care (but this shirt forgives wrinkles)
  • No dry cleaning—nature doesn’t do that either

The Timber Creek Tree Tee:
Peaceful. Comfortable. A little rustic. Just like the view from the porch with a glass of whiskey in hand.

 

XS S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL
Width, in 16.00 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00
Length, in 27.00 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 35.00
Sleeve length, in 7.99 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49 9.72 9.96
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50